What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
EFT is a short term, structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the early 80’s by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. Based on empirical research on the nature of marital distress and adult attachment, EFT uses an experiential approach. Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements in their relationships. It is also used for families and individuals.
How EFT Works
We believe there is a common theme that lies beneath all relationship struggles-whether arguing about money, sex, the kids, work, in-laws etc. This underlying theme is the need to feel connected, safe and secure in the arms of your partner.
In spite of loving one another, you and your partner can get caught in unhealthy communication or behavior patterns to the point of feeling completely stuck. One common pattern is to feel like you’re having the same argument time and time again. In another common pattern, difficult conversations are avoided altogether in order to avoid starting a fight. Both patterns increase tension and disconnection in your relationship. And it often leads to a “dance” of negativity which can engulf the two of you.
As therapists, we find that most couples are trying to solve their problems without a safe, secure connection. Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples makes safety in the therapy office a priority. Once you feel safe to open up to your partner, the cycle is broken and a new emotional connection begins to emerge. Then intimacy and trust grows as you learn to speak about your deepest needs.
EFT Can Help!
Regardless of the state of your relationship, EFT can help you break out of old, negative patterns for good. It allows couples to move from painful disconnection to a new way of understanding yourself and each other- viewing your partner as a safe haven and secure base from which to face the world!
If you are longing to have the close connection with your loved one, contact one of our Emotionally Focused Therapists on our Find a Therapist page .